Say it ain't so
on Friday, October 4, 2013
"Yoga teaches us that we should be in the moment..."
"Yoga says that we are right where we should be..."
Have you ever heard a teacher say that in class? I have. For a long time, for most of my yogic path, I thought that they were referring to this ancient practice we were partaking in. That somewhere in Patanjali's sutras, right after the yamas and the niyamas, he taught us that when we held anjaneyasana we should not look at our neighbor and compare ourselves.
[insert buzzer sound here]
It was a startling wake-up call for me to realize that physical yoga had nothing to do with spiritual Yoga. Yeah, you read that right. The Yoga of which your teachers speak does teach us that we should be in the moment and that we are right where we should be. But that has nothing to do with the forward fold you're struggling to get into. The Yoga with a big Y is an ancient philosophy system from the waaaaaaay back when. And if you go back you won't really find any mention of sun salutes or savasana.
The first time yoga with a small y makes an appearance...is, oh about 100 years ago.
Uh, yeah. That's it.
You can read more about the history of yoga here.
I think that somewhere down the line, like a game of telephone, the information got lost that we're actually practicing a very, very modern physical exercise. Like the author of that article, this information gave me a bit of a crisis of faith. I had gone into my practice thinking that I was joining this old, sacred community when instead, it turns out I'm really just joining jazzercize or tae bo.
But here's some things that helped me...
1) Little y yoga was created with a foundation of big y Yoga. The power of the spiritual practice is infused in the physical practice - the same guidelines of the sutras and other ancient texts guide us in our physical practice. How cool is it that when you explore yoga, you get introduced to Yoga. When you dive into the yoga world, you'll find yourself surrounded by people who are seeking to be loving and mindful and spiritually connected. How many other exercise programs come with a base of wisdom behind it? Can you imagine your Zumba teacher saying "Zumba teaches us that we should love one another..." or the picking up your Runners magazine and learning that "Running tells us to never give up and always let go..."
2) Patanjali's sutras inform us that "Yoga chitta vritti nirodhah. Tada drashtuh svarupe avasthanam" - which means something like "Yoga is the stilling of our mind chatter. Then the seer rests in the true self." So...what I take that to mean is that anything we do that helps us accomplish that ultimate goal is Yoga. The physical practice can be a compliment to our spiritual practice if we choose to let it be.
3) The physical practice isn't some tried and true method for reaching enlightenment. It's a new practice, a growing practice that is there to serve us. But it's up to us to make it what it's supposed to be (a vehicle for Yoga). It's kind of exciting when you think about it. We're part of creating a tradition right now! But that means we need to keep our thinking caps on at all times. Just because your yoga teacher tells you a pose is good for you doesn't mean it is. Guess what? The previous generation of yoga teachers didn't know it all and a lot of them are suffering the consequences physically. We're still learning important facts about staying safe in yoga. As the next wave of yogis, that's our job - to take yoga and make it even better. And who knows what the next generation will give to yoga!
More importantly, this is a reminder that we need to keep our thinking caps on at all times. Just because some Guru wrote it down doesn't make it the law. Just because some ancient text says it's so, doesn't mean it is. You need to decide if it's right and safe for you. Because only you matter. It's your body, your mind, your soul.
May you discover a yoga that helps you find Yoga - the peace that allows you to rest in your true nature.
Yester-you
on Friday, September 20, 2013
I pulled out my old Flip camera this week (remember those things?) to record a practice class with a few of my trainees. After we were done, I took the camera back to my place and noticed that there were quite a few other videos still on the camera. Naturally, I had to watch them.
They were all from a road trip I had taken with a friend about two years back. I had forgotten about these videos, forgotten about that trip. But also, forgotten about who I was back then. The version of me that danced across the tiny screen was about 30 pounds heavier and, for most of the videos, always holding a beer and a cigarette in my hand.
Then, suddenly, the next video pops up and it's me, now, guiding my friends through a sun salute.
It was a strange experience that's still staying with me a few days later. But it was also a gift. It's so easy to completely disconnect from who we were and where we've come from. Yes, we live in the moment. But that doesn't mean our yester-selves should be ignored. Yoga is about unity - and that means recognizing and honoring where we've come from. There are lots of great practices to help you connect with your past, but I find that one of the simplest ones is to occasionally take some time to go through some old journals, videos and photos to have a physical interaction with the you of yesterday that brought you to the you of today!
I want to cheer for that heavier, intoxicated me - look at what she overcame! I want to say to her, "Hold on to your hat, girl - you have no idea what's in store. And it's awesome!"
How can you honor your yester-you today?
They were all from a road trip I had taken with a friend about two years back. I had forgotten about these videos, forgotten about that trip. But also, forgotten about who I was back then. The version of me that danced across the tiny screen was about 30 pounds heavier and, for most of the videos, always holding a beer and a cigarette in my hand.
Then, suddenly, the next video pops up and it's me, now, guiding my friends through a sun salute.
It was a strange experience that's still staying with me a few days later. But it was also a gift. It's so easy to completely disconnect from who we were and where we've come from. Yes, we live in the moment. But that doesn't mean our yester-selves should be ignored. Yoga is about unity - and that means recognizing and honoring where we've come from. There are lots of great practices to help you connect with your past, but I find that one of the simplest ones is to occasionally take some time to go through some old journals, videos and photos to have a physical interaction with the you of yesterday that brought you to the you of today!
I want to cheer for that heavier, intoxicated me - look at what she overcame! I want to say to her, "Hold on to your hat, girl - you have no idea what's in store. And it's awesome!"
How can you honor your yester-you today?
9.0 on the richter scale
on Monday, September 16, 2013
I've been going through a bit of a rough patch this last week after I discovered that a fellow yogi that I dearly respected and a venerated yoga master both turned out to be very, very human (ala John Friend-ish human). I'll admit it - this realization has rocked my foundation and I've been going through a bit of mourning these past few days. I've found myself questioning...everything. After all, what does it mean when the people who practice and teach these principles can't live by them? How can I be inspired to follow something that doesn't appear to work? Especially in the case of the yoga master, this guru, how can I trust his teachings about love when he turned around and created a destructive cult in his wake?
Hilariously enough (almost as if the Universe had planned it...), this all happened just as I was heading into a 3 day intensive workshop with Aadil Palkhiavla. I cried through a good portion of it - not because he was saying anything mind blowing but because I didn't want to be there, facing the very thought system that I was questioning (and sitting beside my former on-a-pedestal friend while he engaged in his very human behavior).
Over lunch, I confessed this to one of my fellow trainees. Confessed? More like moaned and complained. Why? Why are Pastors and Gurus and Priests - why aren't they trustworthy? Why are the very people who are telling us to eat Sattvic foods guzzling beer and eating pizza? Why are the teachers that are teaching us how to overcome ego, walking around with puffed up chests? Why are the ones who are supposed to be guiding us towards Divine love, failing to live it in their own lives?
Her answer was so flippant, I don't think she realized what a force of nature came out of her mouth. She said "The problem is, people want someone to do it all for them. They want someone to say 'Here is how it is. Here is what you do' and then you just do it and then you don't have to think or do any work and you can blame them when it goes wrong."
Oh.
Ohhhhh.
Yes. Of course. It made so much sense, it hurt.
It is not for us to put our very souls into the hands of another. We can look to teachers and priests and gurus for guidance but we must always do the work ourselves. We must always do the work ourselves. We must ask questions, dig deeper, learn the truth and decide for ourselves where to go.
Even in our yoga practice, we can't just do a pose because a teacher says it's good for us. It is up to us to ask and learn more and decide if it really is good for us.
No teacher will be our end all, be all. The buck stops with us. With the Spirit within.
As we returned to class, Aadil brought us around him for a lecture.
"Do you know what Patanjali says the ultimate purpose of yoga is?" he asked in his enthralling voice.
Answers were shouted out like popcorn. "Unity!" "Samadhi!" "Moksha!"
He grinned at us and shook his head. "No, my friends. The ultimate purpose of yoga is discernment."
Discernment. There it was. Right in front me. I felt like I had been led right up to that moment, right to that answer.
I think that's what all this foundation cracking has been about. The Universe has shaken me out of a stupor of blind acceptance and reminded me that the answers are within me.
Hilariously enough (almost as if the Universe had planned it...), this all happened just as I was heading into a 3 day intensive workshop with Aadil Palkhiavla. I cried through a good portion of it - not because he was saying anything mind blowing but because I didn't want to be there, facing the very thought system that I was questioning (and sitting beside my former on-a-pedestal friend while he engaged in his very human behavior).
Over lunch, I confessed this to one of my fellow trainees. Confessed? More like moaned and complained. Why? Why are Pastors and Gurus and Priests - why aren't they trustworthy? Why are the very people who are telling us to eat Sattvic foods guzzling beer and eating pizza? Why are the teachers that are teaching us how to overcome ego, walking around with puffed up chests? Why are the ones who are supposed to be guiding us towards Divine love, failing to live it in their own lives?
Her answer was so flippant, I don't think she realized what a force of nature came out of her mouth. She said "The problem is, people want someone to do it all for them. They want someone to say 'Here is how it is. Here is what you do' and then you just do it and then you don't have to think or do any work and you can blame them when it goes wrong."
Oh.
Ohhhhh.
Yes. Of course. It made so much sense, it hurt.
It is not for us to put our very souls into the hands of another. We can look to teachers and priests and gurus for guidance but we must always do the work ourselves. We must always do the work ourselves. We must ask questions, dig deeper, learn the truth and decide for ourselves where to go.
Even in our yoga practice, we can't just do a pose because a teacher says it's good for us. It is up to us to ask and learn more and decide if it really is good for us.
No teacher will be our end all, be all. The buck stops with us. With the Spirit within.
As we returned to class, Aadil brought us around him for a lecture.
"Do you know what Patanjali says the ultimate purpose of yoga is?" he asked in his enthralling voice.
Answers were shouted out like popcorn. "Unity!" "Samadhi!" "Moksha!"
He grinned at us and shook his head. "No, my friends. The ultimate purpose of yoga is discernment."
Discernment. There it was. Right in front me. I felt like I had been led right up to that moment, right to that answer.
I think that's what all this foundation cracking has been about. The Universe has shaken me out of a stupor of blind acceptance and reminded me that the answers are within me.
The knee bone's connected to the...
on Friday, September 13, 2013
Human anatomy and I have always butted heads. I am entirely made up of bits and pieces that I want to know nothing about because they're ugly, gross, messy, confusing and most especially frustrating because they don't do what they're supposed to and often break down on me. This attitude has worked great for me because our society promotes this way of thinking. We love to focus on the most superficial parts and solutions. Don't ask why you're overweight, breaking out, not sleeping, feeling depressed, having chronic pain. Don't ask what the pill, drink, workout routine, detox program is doing. Just do it and carry on. And if you can, try to look great while pulling it all off.
My disdain for my insides has, of course, hit a roadblock with yoga. Not at first. But the longer you practice, the more you just start noticing what's happening below the surface. It gets harder and harder to ignore as you learn to try making micro movements in your body and feeling the effects. Now, in teacher training, it's impossible to ignore. Anatomy is everywhere and I am knee deep in guts and gore.
And, speaking of knees - this week, I've been learning all about the knee joint. The achy breaky knee joint.
If you're like me that picture is enough to make you want to head-into-sand your way to Facebook, Netflix or Starbucks. But hang with me for one sec.
Check out the white, pink and blue stuff. All that is pretty much the stuff that makes up your knee joint. The blue stuff (meniscus) is kinda like a shock absorber and the pink stuff (ligaments) on the outside and inside keep our knee from going anywhere.
And guess what? None of that is muscle. Which means? Well, it means it doesn't stretch like a muscle. And it means when you injure it, it doesn't heal like a muscle. For the most part, it doesn't heal at all. That's right, once the damage is done, it's done.
Ok ok, you can stop looking at the picture of our squishy insides and think about what the implication of all that. If our joints aren't muscle, it means we can't treat our knees like muscle. But we do. All the time. Anytime we don't focus on the alignment of our knees in asana and especially anytime we force ourselves into a pose that we're not ready for - like virasana or lotus.
When you think about the fragility of your knees, when you picture those teeny-weeny little pink ligaments that you can't replace, does the advanced asana seem so enticing? It doesn't for me. It makes me want to apologize for every yank and pull and twist I ever gave me knees thinking I could force myself do the full asana. It makes me want to go into poses with even more of a gentle spirit, ensuring I give that irreplaceable joint extra love.
So how do you know if you're ready to go further in a pose? Well, it goes back to what I was saying at the beginning. You have to get to know your body. And that just takes time and lots of yoga pratice. The messages are there. Your various pieces of your knees have nerves that can tell you when you're going to far but they can't stop you from pushing the limit. Only you can do that. So next time you're in yoga (or even if you're not) see if you can start to "hear" your knee joint. What's it saying? How can you better support it, to make sure that it serves you for as long as you knee-d it (I had to! I just had to!).
Om Shanti
My disdain for my insides has, of course, hit a roadblock with yoga. Not at first. But the longer you practice, the more you just start noticing what's happening below the surface. It gets harder and harder to ignore as you learn to try making micro movements in your body and feeling the effects. Now, in teacher training, it's impossible to ignore. Anatomy is everywhere and I am knee deep in guts and gore.
And, speaking of knees - this week, I've been learning all about the knee joint. The achy breaky knee joint.
If you're like me that picture is enough to make you want to head-into-sand your way to Facebook, Netflix or Starbucks. But hang with me for one sec.
Check out the white, pink and blue stuff. All that is pretty much the stuff that makes up your knee joint. The blue stuff (meniscus) is kinda like a shock absorber and the pink stuff (ligaments) on the outside and inside keep our knee from going anywhere.
And guess what? None of that is muscle. Which means? Well, it means it doesn't stretch like a muscle. And it means when you injure it, it doesn't heal like a muscle. For the most part, it doesn't heal at all. That's right, once the damage is done, it's done.
Ok ok, you can stop looking at the picture of our squishy insides and think about what the implication of all that. If our joints aren't muscle, it means we can't treat our knees like muscle. But we do. All the time. Anytime we don't focus on the alignment of our knees in asana and especially anytime we force ourselves into a pose that we're not ready for - like virasana or lotus.
When you think about the fragility of your knees, when you picture those teeny-weeny little pink ligaments that you can't replace, does the advanced asana seem so enticing? It doesn't for me. It makes me want to apologize for every yank and pull and twist I ever gave me knees thinking I could force myself do the full asana. It makes me want to go into poses with even more of a gentle spirit, ensuring I give that irreplaceable joint extra love.
So how do you know if you're ready to go further in a pose? Well, it goes back to what I was saying at the beginning. You have to get to know your body. And that just takes time and lots of yoga pratice. The messages are there. Your various pieces of your knees have nerves that can tell you when you're going to far but they can't stop you from pushing the limit. Only you can do that. So next time you're in yoga (or even if you're not) see if you can start to "hear" your knee joint. What's it saying? How can you better support it, to make sure that it serves you for as long as you knee-d it (I had to! I just had to!).
Om Shanti
The yogi love song
on Thursday, September 12, 2013
I had the distinct, indescribable pleasure of seeing the GuruGanesha Band and Deva Premal and Miten earlier this week.
I was never much of a concert person until I discovered the wonderful world of kirtan. There is something so amazing about being vibrated with music that is specifically designed to vibrate in an uplifting way.
Anyway.
I'll save the kirtan talk for later.
During the performance, Miten sang a very beautiful love song to his wife that had us all clutching at our chests and awwwwing.
But afterwards, it made me think - there aren't a lot of love songs about being single. Yes, love songs. There are songs about being single but they're usually angry/sad/bitter songs about the relationship you were in or that you want to be in. Mmmm hmm, shoulda put a ring on it.
It made me think about this blog and about the Yogis of All Shapes and Sizes everywhere. It's hard, it's really hard to speak out for the underrepresented without judgement of the overrepresented. I think the yoga world DOES need more champions of the Yogis of All Shapes and Sizes. But as we throw down the gauntlet we must at the same time strive to refrain from thinking we are better or worse for what we do and who we are and what we're capable of. We must avoid singing the Bitter Single Song about yoga. We, above all others, must avoid it because we are walking the yogic path which teaches us that there isn't anything to gain from judging, there isn't any happiness to be had by achieving or not achieving.
Our goal is to write love songs about being the yogis we are right now because we know that true happiness has nothing to do with our asana. The asana is only there to help us connect with the happiness that lies in the deep inner stillness within. Tomorrow, perhaps we will touch our toes, and the day after we may not. That will not change our love song to the Spirit Within.
Take from me what I want
Take from me what I do
Take from me what I need
Take from me everything that takes me from You
-Mirbai Ceiba
 |
| Hugging GuruGanesha! |
 |
| Chanting Muni Muni Mahamuni with Deva and co. |
I was never much of a concert person until I discovered the wonderful world of kirtan. There is something so amazing about being vibrated with music that is specifically designed to vibrate in an uplifting way.
Anyway.
I'll save the kirtan talk for later.
During the performance, Miten sang a very beautiful love song to his wife that had us all clutching at our chests and awwwwing.
But afterwards, it made me think - there aren't a lot of love songs about being single. Yes, love songs. There are songs about being single but they're usually angry/sad/bitter songs about the relationship you were in or that you want to be in. Mmmm hmm, shoulda put a ring on it.
It made me think about this blog and about the Yogis of All Shapes and Sizes everywhere. It's hard, it's really hard to speak out for the underrepresented without judgement of the overrepresented. I think the yoga world DOES need more champions of the Yogis of All Shapes and Sizes. But as we throw down the gauntlet we must at the same time strive to refrain from thinking we are better or worse for what we do and who we are and what we're capable of. We must avoid singing the Bitter Single Song about yoga. We, above all others, must avoid it because we are walking the yogic path which teaches us that there isn't anything to gain from judging, there isn't any happiness to be had by achieving or not achieving.
Our goal is to write love songs about being the yogis we are right now because we know that true happiness has nothing to do with our asana. The asana is only there to help us connect with the happiness that lies in the deep inner stillness within. Tomorrow, perhaps we will touch our toes, and the day after we may not. That will not change our love song to the Spirit Within.
Take from me what I want
Take from me what I do
Take from me what I need
Take from me everything that takes me from You
-Mirbai Ceiba
Ego vs. yoga
on Saturday, September 7, 2013
"If the yoga of today prevents the yoga of tomorrow, it isn't yoga - it's ego. Why would you do a pose that could lead to injury just so you can say you did it? I want to be healthy in my old age, not crippled because I can say when I was younger I could do certain poses."
One of my wonderful teachers reminded all of us today that asana should ONLY serve our bodies. The moment we push ourselves into a pose and do any harm, we have lost the yoga. We've given into ego. Oh and we've set ourselves up for pain the future.
Ohhh yes said my little brain.
Not focusing on trying to get into advanced asana for the sake of being a PPAA isn't just about acceptance and unity and blah blah blah (all very important things) it's about PROTECTING OURSELVES. If I do yoga for MY body, I will thank myself now AND years later. And really, 40 years down the road, who is going to care how far I could forward fold? But I'll care if my back is so screwed up I need a wheelchair...
Now - how can we share this with the rest of the world?
Yogi revolution
on Friday, September 6, 2013
I'm not alone, of course. There are others out there joining the revolution expand yoga beyond just the PPAAs.
As I encounter them, I'll share.
Let's start with THIS amazing article...
http://www.yoganonymous.com/the-fat-yoga-teacher/
As I encounter them, I'll share.
Let's start with THIS amazing article...
http://www.yoganonymous.com/the-fat-yoga-teacher/
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